ELLIE RICH: SENIOR AT FRANCISCAN UNIVERSITY
So, today I want to be a little more real, and a lot more raw, on my post. I was so excited to take pictures of my sister looking gorgeous and trendy, yet somehow still always cozy, as per usual, but today ended up being a little different. Today, as we celebrate Jesus suffering and dying on the cross for us, my sister Ellie has been struggling with her own cross. The cross of grappling with too much school work, being overwhelmed by family, and the expectation that she should always be perfect and happy all the time. And so, instead of pretending like everything was perfect in our lives and cover up the struggles I thought I would be a little more honest with you guys.
Our lives are not easy. I’m not always confident in my body or perfect in my relationship with Christ. I fall all the time, I get stressed and struggle to figure out how everything is going to work out, and just like my sister, sometimes all I want to do is cry. For example, this morning I broke my sister’s coffee-maker and, as any sane coffee addict would do, almost broke down crying for that reason alone. We aren’t meant to always be put together. Jesus doesn’t want us to be perfect, He just wants us to be as he made us, and that has been my sister’s yes to Him. “My yes has been a yes to being fully myself. A yes to trust that He has created me to be exactly who I am, and that He will give me the grace to do anything He needs me to. He has been calling me to rejoice in my identity as His daughter instead of always wanting to be more than I am.” We all have this calling, to be freely and fully ourselves. You should never be ashamed of who you are or doubt that when God created you He made you good. To doubt that would be to say that God has made a mistake in His creation, and well… that’s impossible.
And as ideal as her yes may seem, it’s a lot easier said than done, “It’s a hard thing to say ‘yes’ to. So many times throughout the day, I fail to choose to trust Him and instead choose to believe the lie that I will ever be enough. I doubt that my prayer is enough, I doubt that I am smart enough, I doubt that I am a good enough friend… One of my biggest struggles is that of comparison. It is so hard for me not to desire to be so much more like other people I see instead of wanting to be myself. I have to continually go back to prayer to let Him look at me with perfect love and mercy in His eyes, where He holds my face and tells me that I am good. When I am rooted in prayer, He can become my reality — God can.”
So, as we look to the Cross this Good Friday I think we should all ask God, “Where are we not trusting You enough, and how am I not respecting the one You love… me?” I know my sister’s is her mind and mine is the lack of confidence in my body… What’s yours? Lay all these things at the foot of the cross today and watch Jesus transform them from sufferings of this world into something heavenly and perfect on Easter. The resurrection is coming! Don’t lose hope.