Jesus, I trust in You… I say that way too much for how little I understand the depth of that statement. As many of you know, Divine Mercy Sunday was yesterday and, while I’d been looking forward to spending that day in alone with Christ for the past month, it ended up falling on the weekend I had regionals for Ultimate Frisbee. To say I was upset was a slight understatement. Instead of having the whole weekend to do homework so that I could be free on Sunday I was stuck on the sidelines (I’m injured) cold, wet, frustrated, and wondering why God decided to allow back pain to be my cross over the past three years. Then of course, comes the part where you beat yourself up for not trusting in the plans God has for you and for not seeing how blessed you are and it just starts this perpetuating cycle of negatively that feels impossible to get out of.
Then, I went to mass… in this outfit. I had gotten back from the tournament so late and I still had to take photos for this post and I figured I would just sit in the back during mass so that my informal clothing would go unseen. So, when my friend desperately asked if I could do the first reading I felt guilty with how informally I dressed and worried for the 10 minutes leading up to mass that I would be judged for what I was wearing. Then right before mass started I felt this need to say, “Jesus, I trust in You” three times… that mass was one of the most beautiful, overwhelmingly grace-filled masses I have ever been to. I felt this fire within me that I haven’t felt for months and I was so full of joy and love that my insecurities about what I was wearing weren’t even a thought in my mind. I went up and read confidently and afterwards no one commented on my outfit, only that my reading was beautiful.
Isn’t how God works absolutely insane! I was in ripped jeans and Birks and somehow He still turned it into a way of glorifying Him. He used my hole-y jeans to bring out a deeper holiness in me. (I’m so sorry I was really excited to make this pun) His mercy is so abounding and the only merit we have in receiving His over-flowing grace and mercy is our trust… that’s it. There is nothing else we can do to earn it or lose it. It just is. It was so clear to me last night that God doesn’t expect me to understand why he allows the back pain or why some weekends I can’t have the alone time I want, He just wants me to trust in Him and His Divine Mercy. It’s through this Divine Mercy that we become saints and I don’t know about you, but I really would like to become a saint. Divine Mercy tells us that we are not perfect, no one is, but we are wonderful and beautiful in Christ’s eyes and that’s how we need to see ourselves. (credit to my friend’s priest in confession)
Do I recommend wearing this outfit to mass on Sunday, definitely not, but what I am saying is don’t feel tied down by the ‘rules’ of dressing modestly or respectably. There is a time and a place to dress formally and informally but besides that fashion is meant to be a revelation of beauty, just like Mary Sarah said in her Friday Feature. It’s meant to be an outward expression of our unique personalities. I am a very laid back person and so my clothing reflects that. I struggle with being too informal and my clothing reflects that. Yet God uses that, just as much as He uses the girl who wears beautiful dresses every day, to glorify Him in some way. You don’t have to change your whole wardrobe or style to dress in a way that respects yourself and those around you. You just have to make little changes with each purchase you make or outfit you put together to make sure you are glorifying God, and not yourself, in how you dress.
I’m excited to be putting together a separate page dedicated solely to fashion tips within the next couple of weeks, but I really want to stress that what I have to say is just guidelines to get people who want to dress fashionable yet modest started on their journey and to encourage them along the way. My style is not going to be the same as yours and that’s okay because, like St. Therese said, “If every flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness.” I hope you all had a beautiful Divine Mercy Sunday and for those who are going onto finals soon, I know I am, I will be praying for you and for your peace.
Also, a woman reached out to me through my prayer request page and asked me to pray for her new born son Fletcher Thomas who is currently fighting for his life. There are few things more heartbreaking than this and I want to ask you all to keep this little boy in your prayers and, if it be in His will, hope for a miracle. Let’s create a community of prayer for this beautiful baby boy.
Outfit of the Week:
Shirt – Rails (this store is more expensive than I will ever recommend. I stole the shirt from my mom, but it is pretty to look at and get fashion ideas that you can recreate cheaper)
Jeans – Free People
Sweater – Forever 21 (this sweater is very old)
Shoes – Birkenstocks
Hat – Subdued (the hat is out of stock but they have a lot of great hair accessories)