Everyone in my family has gone to the same Catholic school from kindergarten to 8th grade and to be honest with all of you I really don’t have a lot of good memories from those 9 years… in fact I get anxiety whenever I have to pick up my little sister or drop something off on that campus. That’s ridiculous! I’m literally in college but still haunted by memories from middle school. It’s crazy how much it affects us without even realizing it.
Today was my little sister’s May Crowning. It’s actually a beautiful day where the whole school comes together to say a rosary with a mass dedicated to Mary and the 8th graders get to dress up and wear flower crowns. The only memory I have of that day is wanting to get pictures with the popular boys and standing there today watching my little sister I saw the beauty of the day but was still full of anxiety thinking about what I did in middle school.
But, as I stood in mass about to receive the Eucharist I heard Jesus say, ‘In Me you are made new’ and while the anxiety didn’t vanish it did calm my heart and I knew that I had been forgiven. Jesus forgave me a long time ago for everything I did at that point in my life… I just hadn’t forgiven myself. I was the one who needed to let it go. At the end of the mass the 8th graders said a closing prayer dedicating their lives to Mary, the same one I said 5 years ago, and as I listened to the words that I completely disregarded the first time around I realized how much Mary had been protecting my heart and keeping me close to her Son.
I said prayers and I went to mass in middle school without thinking about what I was saying or even believing in it. But that didn’t stop Mary from standing by me in every moment protecting my heart and nurturing me as her beloved daughter. Mary saved my heart and when she knew I was ready presented me before her Son at a time when I needed Him the most.
My little sister isn’t nearly as annoying or far from God as I was in middle school but she is still struggling nonetheless. But I’m not worried. Mary, and her guardian angel, will protect my sister just as much as she protected me and I know when it’s time she will bring my sister to Christ in the most beautiful and grace-filled way. Dori, if you’re reading this know I love you, and for any girls in middle school reading this please feel free to reach out to me here! I’d love to talk to you.
Momma Mary surround us in your grace and protection as we go about our daily lives. There is no human or angel that terrifies the devil more than you and so it is with full confidence that we run to you and wrap ourselves in your motherly love. Protect the feminine heart that you know so well and connect us to your Son’s most Sacred Heart in a more intimate way than we could ever imagine. Thank you saving me all those years ago and I ask that you watch out for the beautiful women who are in the same situation I was in all those years ago. We ask this in your name…