I had a couple of ideas for today’s post yet, as I went to write each one of them I felt completely uninspired. I got a little anxious as I sat with writer’s block for a while trying to figure out what was wrong with my head. Then I realized… How could I write about practicing our faith as a community of women or spreading the word when I wasn’t doing it myself? It would be hypocritical.High Rise Satin Jeans | Blush Blouse (not exact) |Oxford Flats (super inexpensive for this style!) | My Saint My Hero Blessing Bracelets
You know those times in your life where you are feeling particularly lazy and you can’t figure out why and it kind of stops you from wanting to do just about anything; yeah, I’m going through that right now. It’s something we all go through (at least I think it is) and it has definitely affected how I’m living out my faith right now. I’ve been experiencing desolation for the last month and it makes it harder and harder to keep my faith at the center of everything I do. It makes it harder to talk about, write about and, more importantly, to practice.
We as humans are so susceptible to forget all that the Lord has done for us and we slowly stop practicing at the intensity that we once did when it felt good and so we experience desolation because we have slowly separated ourselves from Him (consciously or subconsciously).
In CS Lewis’ Mere Christianity, he claims that God allows desolation for two reason. Firstly, after gracing us with a consolation that brings us back into His Sacred Heart He wants to test us to make sure that we can keep the faith even when we don’t feel it. The second reason is that we as humans are so susceptible to forget all that the Lord has done for us and we slowly stop practicing at the intensity that we once did when it felt good and so we experience desolation because we have slowly separated ourselves from Him (consciously or subconsciously). To be honest with you, mine was the latter, an unconscious drifting from the fervor with which I once practiced to an almost lukewarm faith.It’s a rut we all get in, and now we must figure out how to get out of it. As I sit in a coffee shop debating what I can do to overcome this laziness, that the devil has totally used to his advantage, all I can think of is setting a schedule that centers my day around Christ. Sounds exciting I know (she says sarcastically), but I’ve found it’s because of those extended days where I don’t have a set schedule that I don’t prioritize prayer time. My whole day should be scheduled around my time with God, whether it be daily mass or just 30 minutes of prayer time, there needs to be a set time each day that I can dedicated to Him.
I know I have a problem with setting expectations too high when I’m getting back into prayer. I create an unrealistic goal and then get mad at myself for not following through with it. To avoid that I reached out to a woman who I trust and is a spiritual director to me. She helped me set up a schedule that is realistic, 20 minutes of prayer each morning before I start my day. She didn’t start me with a holy hour or 6:30 daily mass for my last week of summer. She looked at my schedule and looked at where I was at and helped me find something that was practical and would help get me back on track. I’ve only done it for 2 days, but I can already feel a difference. Another thing I am really excited about is one of my good friends reached out to do a 54 day novena that starts today and we are each others accountability partners in this novena. I now have a person supporting me in my prayer and someone who relies on me to help them with theirs and that is not something I take lightly.
It’s so important to open our eyes to the beauty of this world, to the miracles present in all of our lives, big or small, and give thanks in everything.
While, the set schedule helps me to get out of the rut of laziness it’s going to be the prayer and the little moments of gratitude and recognizing God’s work that will help me overcome this desolation. Living in gratitude for being chosen and created by a Divine, and all perfect, Will. Gratitude for being a Beloved. Gratitude for be surrounded by those who speak the truth in my heart. Gratitude for a God who asks me to give up everything and follow Him. It’s so important to open our eyes to the beauty of this world, to the miracles present in all of our lives, big or small, and give thanks in everything.Last Sunday’s first reading (1 Kings 19:9, 11-13) talked about Elijah standing on a mountain waiting to hear the Lord passing. There was this crazy wind that crushed rocks on the mountain, an earthquake, and a fire that all passed through; all huge and powerful and obvious. Yet, the Lord was not in any of that… He was in a tiny whisper, something completely unimpressive and, if he wasn’t listening, something Elijah could have totally missed. I don’t know about you guys but I think I often wait to see or hear the Lord in some crazy big way or experience this undeniable feeling and yet 99.9% of the time that is not how the Lord comes to us. He comes to us in a whisper that is terrifying and easy to miss in our busy and loud lives.
If I want to hear God I need to actually give Him the chance to speak to me.
If I want to get out of this stage desolation I need to die to myself, die to the noise, and listen to God in the silence of prayer where I’m not babbling on about what I want or “need.” If I want to hear God I need to actually give Him the chance to speak to me. Desolation and laziness are something we have to make the conscious decision to get out of, and it isn’t easy or obvious, but I hope that maybe in seeing my plan to overcome it, it might inspire you to do so too.
If any of you guys have tips for me as I start actively reclaiming my faith or if maybe you need an accountability partner in doing the same for yourself, please please message me here! I’d love to hear from you and know that we are not alone in this as sister in Christ.
Choose to turn back to Him today sisters!
In Him through her,