Hey guys, I wanted to start out by apologizing for not posting on Friday and then being radio silent about it. I was really really excited about my Friday Feature and I couldn’t wait to share her story but then as my week started to unfold it became more and more evident that I couldn’t do it all. You see, last week I average about 4 hours of sleep per night, which is like incredibly unhealthy. I have this habit of never saying no, even when I know I can’t take on any more, and then instead of disappointing people, I sacrifice my personal health. Really, really, bad decision let me tell you.
I was exhausted all last week and I didn’t make any time for personal prayer and I kind of let my priorities get out of whack. Now, don’t get me wrong. I still had the most incredible and happy week full of the most fulfilling discussions and the funniest dinners and I finally got to really talk to my best friend and it was my second week of my new internship which I LOVE but I just wasn’t taking care of myself. Jesus would tell me to go to sleep early (very clearly in prayer because I glorify Him best well rested) but then I’d end up falling asleep around 2 or 3 am. Like I said… bad decisions. What have I learned from last week… I can’t do it all. I can’t be everything to everyone and God doesn’t want me to be everything. He was calling me to just be all week and for some reason, I wasn’t saying yes. I let myself get stressed and anxious and as that happened I slowly started trying to take more control of my life. The more control I tried to take the more anxious I’d become and it became this vicious cycle until it was Friday night at 2 am (I had to be up at 4am for my flight home) and I hadn’t packed yet, my overnight luggage was nowhere to be found, I hadn’t done my post yet and I was supposed to make a video for this girl and I finally broke down. I threw some clothing into a bag wayyy too big for a 3-day trip and went to sleep.
I got on my flight the next morning and instead of working on my post I slept for 2 1/2 hours… and let me tell you, it was amazing. Why was a minor break down what finally allowed me to sleep and take care of myself? It reminded me that I was human. It reminded me that I can’t do it all. It reminded me that I have a Father who has everything planned for me if only I trust Him.
Jesus’ love, His ministry, His death, His resurrection… it’s a story of liberation for a people enslaved by fear and anxiety and pride.
1 Peter 4:19 it says, “Entrust your soul to a Faithful Creator” and on Thursday night (or Friday morning) when I literally couldn’t offer the world anything else and I was completely empty of myself I found myself finally able to do just that. Jesus is telling us a narrative different from that of this world. It defies all modern logic to believe that the less we try to control our lives the freer we will be and yet that is what Jesus promises us. He asks us to lay our burdens on Him, to give up control, to stop planning, to stop worrying, and just worship Him. Jesus’ love, His ministry, His death, His resurrection… it’s a story of liberation for a people enslaved by fear and anxiety and pride. He came to tell us that we don’t have to be perfect and seek honor and glory and live our lives constantly trying to be the best because to Him we just are. He came and told us that we are created perfectly and beautifully just because He chose to create us. He is asking us every day to stop striving and to just be, to turn our worry into worship, and rest in His sacred heart. I don’t know if you’ve noticed a pattern in my reflections but letting go of the things I can’t control and admitting I need a savior is probably one of my greatest weaknesses and struggles in my faith and yet God is using that to glorify Him. Through my lack of trust, He is revealing his grace. Through my inability to admit when I need a savior, He shows His infinite mercy.
Knowing that there is a God out there that is so much bigger than us, that is completely good, perfect, worthy, all-knowing is so freeing because it forces me to recognize that I have zero control.
Knowing that there is a God out there that is so much bigger than us, that is completely good, perfect, worthy, all-knowing is so freeing because it forces me to recognize that I have zero control. And yet that is so beautiful because God is so good beyond our comprehension and he will NEVER fail us. So, this week I’m throwing my hands up in surrender and I challenge you all to do the same. Don’t be afraid, let go and trust Him, and I promise you, sisters, He will do radical things.